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I got up my nerve and called Mrs. Myrtle on a Sunday evening. She didn't sound nearly as alert as the last time I talked to her, and I had to tell her who I was all over again. Not good. But when I asked about the DNA, and told her she'd just have to swab her cheek and send the kit back in the mail, she said yes!
All I had to do next was visit the bank and cash in the bond. I went to my hidey place and... no key. I searched all over, and even found the little envelope that the bank gives you to hold it. I hadn't used it in at least a year, so I emptied out an old purse to see if it had been left in there. No luck. I searched in other likely places, and looked underneath my bills. Nada. I found a couple of sturdy-looking keys in a drawer and eagerly showed them to the teller at the bank. She shook her head. "Nope." (Anybody know what these keys go to?)